Ten Things NOT to do in an Interview

The time has come for about 25% of the Palos Verdes High School’s student body to start thinking about the next step in the college application process: interviews.  Contrary to popular opinion, interviews “should be casual and not scary” assures one Harvard interviewer.  This article is meant to give all interviewees (not just Ivy League hopefuls) a leg up in the quote-unquote real world.  Here are ten things NOT to do in an interview if you want to get the job (or the acceptance letter):

1 .)Treat it like a date
Although this article is similar to last edition’s 10 Things not to do on a Date, please do not think that it is okay to treat an interview like a date.  Never ask your interviewer out, never tell inappropriate jokes, and NEVER try to make a move on your interviewer.  Remember, this is your future boss (if all goes well); many companies, and nearly all schools, distinguish between work/school life and the dating scene.
2.) Show up late, chewing gum and talking on the phone
Now that we have established that an interview is not a date (as much as you might want it to be), let’s get down to the basics.  Don’t show up late, don’t chew gum and don’t take any calls or texts.  In fact, (brace yourself…) you don’t even need your phone at all.  You could leave it in the car or, at the very least, on silent. An interview is your opportunity to show your best behavior; after all, you can survive an hour without your phone.
3.) Utilize gratuitous and sesquipedalian jargon in a sycophantic attempt to paint a fallacious picture of yourself
Um…… in other words, don’t try to use big words to sound smarter than you are.  Chances are, the interviewer will see right through you and send you on your (not so) merry way.
4.) Be too modest or downplay your achievements
Before each interview, get in the zone.  You are the best candidate of all time and space for this job or school.  If they don’t choose you, it’s their loss.  Show them how great you are.  Did you partner with someone to start a charity or club?  Did you win first place at the science fair? Emphasize not only your kindness, maturity, and drive it took to accomplish the achievement, but also express the patience and flexibility it required to work with your others. Show how you’re a good leader as well as a good team player.
5.) Use the interview as a therapy session
Interviews are not the time to spill out your deepest, darkest secrets: your boyfriend cheated on you, you got fired from your last job because you couldn’t get along with your boss (um, excuse me! Do NOT talk about getting fired in an interview), your thirteen pet cats that don’t get enough of your attention… If you would say it in a heart-to-heart, chances are you should leave it out of the interview.
6.) Fail to ask questions
Not asking any questions shows the interviewer that you are unprepared or uninterested.  Just keep in mind that despite the well-meaning reassurances that “There are no stupid questions, sweetie,” in the big, bad world of interviews, there are some really stupid questions.  For example, don’t ask, “Is it true that only losers study in college?” or “How much effort does this job actually require?” That would be a fool-proof way to ensure you are neither hired nor accepted. Instead, ask a detailed questions that shows you researched; don’t ask a question that you could have found the answer online.  
7.) Say “like”, like a buhjillion times, you know?
If you sound like you belong in a trashy pre-teen novel (I’m thinking…The Clique?), your interviewer is not going to want to keep you around.  For one thing, who wants to be reminded of those awkward middle school years?  And for another, there is not much room for a 12-year-old’s attitude in a workplace or college. Instead, speak articulately, concisely, and clearly.
8.) Badmouth former employers, teachers, or peers
Don’t assume that your interviewer will share your opinions of those with whom you don’t, ahem, see eye-to-eye.  Don’t burn any bridges and don’t ridicule, mention, or even allude to prior run-ins or difficulties with another person. Badmouthing others makes you seem judgemental and cliquey. Why would they want to hire/accept a person who can’t work well with others?
9.) Dress inappropriately or be dirty
As Mark Twain so aptly noted, “Clothes make the man.  Naked people have little or no influence on society.”  We can apply this to interviews by saying: “Clothes make the man (or woman).  Underdressed or unclean people have little or no positive influence on the interviewer.”Dress to impress. Show that you are mature and professional.
10.) Lie
Last but certainly not least, do not lie, deceive, or misrepresent.  Do not invent, fabricate, or fib.  Do not…all right, I think you get the idea.  Now just put it into practice.  Telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth (in the best light possible, of course) will win major points with your interviewer. It will be embarrassing if the interviewer finds out later that something isn’t true. Even if you lie about one tiny detail, it could possibly cause him/her to question all of your interview responses.